The Model Father

 

June 19, 2022                 NOTES NOT EDITED
Google Search:  The Model Father
Matthew 6:9-15

SIS:  The model prayer of Jesus reveals the characteristics of the Model Father.

Raise your hand if you have heard the term, “Toxic Masculinity.”  As I expected, most of you have heard the term.  Anything “toxic” is bad by definition.  Some people may be confused by the term, “Toxic Masculinity” however.  It does NOT mean, some masculinity is good but some is toxic.  No, no, no.  It means, “being a man is bad.”

We have come to a place where society now defines a “manly man” as a “bad man.”  We now live in a society where women can be “husbands” and men can be “wives.”  Is that just not so insane as to be utterly evil?  Yes it is.

So, we live in a nation where manhood is bad and therefore “fatherhood” is extremely damaged or missing altogether.  We live in a nation where a present sitting Supreme Court Justice said, “I cannot define what a woman is.”  Again, that is so insane that it can only be considered utterly evil.

So, if manhood is bad and masculinity is toxic, celebrating Father’s Day seems a bit out of place.  For a vast majority of children in America today, they grow up in a home where there is no father.  For another very large majority the Fathers in homes lack basic masculinity.

Children need manly men as Fathers.  That is about as politically incorrect a statement as any that I could make.  However, it is true.  In a article by a leading professor in an Ivy League School, little boys learn how to be gentle by “wrestling and rough-housing with their fathers.”  That sounds backwards at first.  But, by rough-housing with fathers, little boys learn limits and when they have crossed the line.  Who would have thought that being manly means you have learned the limits of proper social interaction.

We know this is true by the statistics of how much violence there is in communities such as Chicago where children, especially little boys, grow up without fathers.

We read earlier a portion of Scripture called, The Model Prayer.  In it we are introduced to the Model Father, Our Heavenly Father.  This text shows us at least five significant characteristics of a Model Father.

1.  A Model Father is a “POINTER.”  (9-11a)

If you grew up where they hunt ducks or shoot quail, you probably get the image of a dog, one leg up, nose straight standing like a statue.  He is pointing out for his master where the birds are.  Many dog breeds can be used as “Pointers.”

A Model Father is a “pointer.”  He points his family, particularly his children toward heaven, and the Heavenly Father.  A Model Father creates an environment where the Heavenly Father’s name (character, person) is honored on the lips of his children and where building the Kingdom of God is the driving force of the family.  A Model Father creates an attitude of reverence in his children always pointing them toward heavenly goals and godly attitudes.

In verses 9-10, the introduction to the Model Prayer, the focus is on the Heavenly Father.  Three verbs are used to outline how we should view and address God, the Father.  The verbs, “honor, come, and done,” are formed grammatically to demonstrate utmost urgency and care in addressing God.  Utmost respect.  The verbs all come first in each of the three phrases, further stressing the utmost respect for God, the Father.  Literally the verses say: “be honored your name; come now your kingdom; and be done your will.”

Being a “model father” is all about pointing your family and others, consistently and continually upward toward God in heaven.

2.  A Model Father is a “PROVIDER” (11b)

Now, it looks like what a Model Father provides is rather meager: nothing but “bread.”  However, the word bread hear is a figure of speech a part stands for the whole (synecdoche).  Part of the daily subsistence, especially in the days of Jesus, was bread.  It is the basic staple on any table.

Here, “daily bread” stands for all the needs of life:  physical, emotional, and most of all spiritual.  Jesus explained this when He said, “Man cannot live by bread, that is physical bread, alone but needs also spiritual bread, or the Word of God.”

Far too many homes are malnourished emotionally and spiritually because even though the father may be a great provider physically.  It is simply not enough to provide for a family’s physical needs and neglect the emotional and especially, the spiritual needs.  When I was a child, most fathers in my town were adequate when it came to bringing home the bacon but complete failures at taking children to church.   A Model Father is a provider:  physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

3.  The Model Father is a FORGIVER (12, 14-15)

This is a biggy when it comes to being a Model Father—I mean a really big deal.  We know this is really important because Jesus mentions it in verse 12, but after he ends the Model Prayer in verse 13, the Lord adds an appendix in verses 14 and 15 expounding on forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the very foundation of all human relationships, including our relationship with the Heavenly Father.

All of God’s goodness to us flows from the faucet of His forgiveness.  The flow of forgiveness is a picture showing four significant aspects of forgiveness that allow us to live whole, healthy, godly lives with freedom, boldness, and confidence.  The flow of God’s forgiveness begins with God forgiving us.  The forgiveness we receive from God  allows, even requires, we forgive others.  That entails that others forgive us. Without this flow of forgiveness from God to us and between ourselves and others, there is no foundation for any healthy relationships.  And, finally, in order for forgiveness to set us free we must learn to forgive ourselves (Rom. 8:1). At any point in this flow of forgiveness a pipe can break or a clog develop and relationships wills suffer.  That includes a Father’s relationship with his family.  There must be a continuous flow of forgiveness.  Children will especially test the limits of a Father’s forgiveness.  Keep the faucet of forgiveness fully open.

4.  A Model Father is LEADER (13a)

Earlier I spoke of the Model Father as being POINTER, constantly redirecting the focus of the family upward to God.  But, being a pointer is related to being a LEADER and vice versa.  A sign can point the way, but it is insufficient to actually map out the specifics of the route. 

The word translated “lead” (KJV, NASB) or “bring” (CSB) means to act in a way to secure the desired result or condition.  It is more than simply “pointing the way,” but it is providing leadership instructions or a detailed map of how to get there.  The force of this verse means,

“Do not allow us to yield to temptation, but give us clear instructions on how to avoid it.”

Leadership is required to show children “how to avoid temptations” and exactly how to pursue godliness.  A Model Father should constantly point to the need of prayer, for example, but should also lead the way by teaching his children exactly how to pray.  This same necessity of leadership is important in every aspect of life from prayer to how to do basic plumbing.  Children need leadership.  Telling a child what is expected without leading them and providing the skills to do what is expected with lead to strife and even rebellion. 

I’ve mentioned before that many of my relative living out on the ridges and rolling hills outside of town did not have indoor plumbing in the early days.  They had a “one-hole outhouse.”  I’ll let your own imagination supply the images and smells.  While all the outhouses that I knew of, or ever used (which required the most extreme of emergencies if you know what I mean), all were “one-holers.”  This is not only true of outhouses, but also of thrones.  All thrones were one-seaters.  There has to be a place in every organization, including the family, where the buck stops.  Every family needs a single leader and that leader has to be the Father for a family to run effectively. The Model Father leads his family as he is following God. 

5.  The Model Father is a PROTECTOR (13b)

The word translated “deliver” (ῥῦσαι rhusai rῡ-say) has a very broad range of meaning in the original language.  It can mean, “to guard, protect, support, defend, repel” (an attack).” The idea is one of complete “protection,” both preemptive and redemptive.  A Father’s primary duty is to stand guard at the door of his family, and should one of his own fall into calamity, it is the father’s duty to “rescue” that child.

With so many father’s either absent from the American family or apathetic to their role as the “Protector,” the door to the sheepfold is unattended and the ravaging wolves of society is devouring our family.

The Model Father is the “pastor, or shepherd of the family” under the Lordship of Christ.  The primary protector of the family throughout the history of God’s redemptive story were not the priests or preachers but the parent, and first and foremost the father.  The Book of Deuteronomy sets forth the primacy of the Father as the Protecting Shepherd of the hearts, minds, and lives of children:

Deuteronomy 6:6–9 (CSB)  ⁶ These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. ⁷ Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. ⁹ Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

The Father is the one given the ultimate responsibility to “Protect” the hearts and minds of the children by repeating God’s Word, talking about God’s Word, and even binding God’s Word physically to his body as a constant reminder like the bumpers on freeway lanes that remind us to stay in the safety or our own lane.

But, notice especially that phrase, “Write them on the doorposts of your house.”  This is reminiscent of that fateful night when God sent the Death Angel throughout Egypt as the Tenth Plague, which would take the life of every first-born child.  God had instructed the people to sacrifice a lamb and brush the doorposts of the house with the blood.  In every house where the doorpost was covered in blood, the Death Angel would “pass over” and no death would come to that house.

There is much death among the youth in our society from drugs to school shootings to suicide.  The nation is in chaos.  Why? To a very large degree the responsibility lies at the feet of Fathers.  We have abdicated our duty as the Protector of our family and have not covered the doorposts of our homes with the blood of Jesus.  We have sent our children to church for the pastor and Sunday School teachers to teach them, instead of accepting our responsibility for their hearts, minds, and bodies from the ravages of the Death Angel of sin.

The Model Father is represented clearly in Scripture, and specifically here in the model prayer. The Model Father is Yahweh, God Almighty.  Yahweh, the Holy God of Scripture, is PROVIDER, FORGIVER, LEADER, AND PROTECTOR.  As godly Fathers, we need to follow the Heavenly Fathers model pointing our families toward Him each day, every day, all day long.

The game of life is stacked against children today in a way it has never been in history.  Children need the guidance of godly fathers.

We live in a world that is in very, very, very bad shape.  I know there have been “doom and gloom” preachers since the beginning of time.  I know that it is common for generations to feel that they are living through the worst time in human history.  I’m sure my grandparents and parents felt that way living through the Great Depression.  But, I am not making my evaluation we are in the worst days of human history based upon economic or even social conditions.  I’m making it based upon the “collapse of fatherhood.”  Without the moral leadership of godly fathers the nation is doomed.  Mothers, as wonderful as they are cannot carry the weight of the world.  We need fathers who can coach their children into becoming all that God intends for them to be.  Fathers alone can provide this needed coaching for children to be successful in the game of life.

 

One of my favorite stories is about a high school football game.  A few years ago two rival high school football teams were locked in combat in the final championship game.  Each team’s reputation was on the line.  The home team was backed up to its own 3 yard line with time running out.   The score was tied.  On the next play, the first string quarterback was sacked at the line of scrimmage.  Worse yet, his ankle was sprained.  The second string quarterback was out with the flu.  The coach had no choice but to play a freshman quarterback who had never been in a high school game.  The coach hoped that he could keep the game tied, and the first string quarterback could go back in the game during overtime, and save the home team’s reputation.  He sent the rookie into the game with explicit instructions.  The coach said, “Run 22-e twice, and then punt.”  The coach did not want to take the chance of giving the other team the ball with time left for a possible score.  So, in goes the rookie.  He calls “22-e.”  The team runs the play and to the surprise of everyone they gained 45 yards.  They were now on the 48 yard line.  In the huddle, the rookie quarterback follows his coaches orders and calls 22-e.  This time the team gains 49 yards.  It is last down.  One second remains on the timer.  They are on the 3 yard line.  This would be their last play.  The rookie follows orders.  He takes the snap, drops back, and punts the ball into the end zone.  The game ends in a tie.  The team will go on to lose in overtime.

 

When the rookie comes off the field after punting from the 3 yard line, the coach is red with rage.  The rookie could not understand it.  He followed the coaches orders to the letter.  Barely able to talk the coach stammers, “Son, what in the world was going through your mind on that last play?”  The rookie quarterback answered, “The only thing going through my mind was, ‘man do we ever have a dumb coach!”

 

Be a Model Coach.  Be a Model Father.