Bad Advice Pt. 3: How to Wreck a Relationship

February 19, 2017                     NOTES NOT EDITED
Bad Advice, Pt.3: “How to Wreck a Relationship”

1Samuel 18:1-30

SIS: Maintaining healthy relationships is perhaps the most important and most difficult task we face as human beings.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, BUT ALWAYS A BIT TRICKY. 

It would seem that a “family relationship” would be the most durable of any relationships a person can have on earth.  Sadly, that’s not the case.  Even the smallest misunderstanding can permanently damage a relationship.  I remember a farmer who had four sons.  Three of the sons stayed on the farm and took it over after the father reached an age where he could not run the farm anymore.  One of the four sons decided farming was not in his blood and set off for the “big city.”  He became very successful financially.  The other brother felt the departing sibling was sherking his duties and was abandoning the father.  The city-dwelling brother assured the others, this was not the case.  The city brother promised that when the father died, he would take care of all the expenses for a fine funeral.  Within just a couple years, the father passed away.  The family gave the old farmer a fine funeral, and sent the bill to the city brother.  The wealthy brother paid the bill quickly and without question.  The wealthy brother noticed that he got another bill the next month for $32.50.  The same for the next month and every month.  He soon got tired of paying the $32.50 bill and called his brothers and asked why they kept sending him a monthly bill when he had paid the funeral home for the expenses.  The older brother gave this answer:  “Well, didn’t you say you would pay for the funeral expenses for a fine funeral for Dad?”  The city brother answered yes.  The older brother added, “Well, we rented Dad a tuxedo to be buried in!”

Money issues are a good way to “wreck a relationship.”  Relationships have been wrecked over squabbles much less significant.  In fact, some people seem to have a special talent for “wrecking relationships”—their own as well as others.  The remind me of an animated Disney character named, “Wreck-It Ralph.”  Wrecking things was his occupation.  He went to work every day in a video game.  Wreck-It Ralph was the villain who would wreck things, and Fix-It Felix was the good-guy who would fix what Ralph wrecked with a magic hammer.  You are probably thinking, “Pastor, we are a little old for Disney movies.”  Well, it is amazing how well Disney can hide important truths behind magical creatures.  Being a “Wreck-It Ralph” and being good a “destroying things” will leave you lonely and forlorn.  Think about what happens when we get good at “Wrecking Relationships” as we saw earlier in the clip of Ralph at a therapy session for animated “bad guys.”

As Wreck-It Ralph pointed admitted, “I’m really good at my job of wrecking stuff.”  But, being good at a bad thing will never bring you happiness and fulfillment—especially if you are “good at bad relationships.” 

However, for those that have great relationships and feel totally fulfilled and full of happiness, but you are tired of having great relationships and want to know how to “wreck a relationship,” I have some good “bad advice” for you.  Let’s read about a man in the Bible that “wrecked a great relationship” with a great young man, and ultimately wrecked his relationship with God.  1Sam. 18:5-30

Here’s six explosive ingredients that will absolutely wreck any relationship.

Let me briefly update you where we are in the story of Saul’s life, that led up to the time he “wrecked” his relationship with David, and ultimately with God.

Now, let’s see how Saul was so successful in destroying a relationship with such potential for God.  Pay close attention.  Bad advice is easy to come by, but it ain’t cheap.

1.  Jealousy (18:5, 8-9)

⁵ David marched out with the army and was successful in everything Saul sent him to do. Saul put him in command of the soldiers, which pleased all the people and Saul’s servants as well. ⁶ As the troops were coming back, when David was returning from killing the Philistine, the women came out from all the cities of Israel to meet King Saul,  singing and dancing with tambourines, with shouts of joy, and with three-stringed instruments. ⁷ As they celebrated, the women sang: Saul has killed his thousands, but David his tens of thousands. ⁸ Saul was furious and resented this song.  “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?”  ⁹ So Saul watched David jealously from that day forward.

Many translations follow a more literal translation of verse 9, such as the ESV, “Saul eyed David.”  The original word carries the idea of “iniquity, or evil-doing.”  Literally it means to “be bent, or crooked,” both physically and metaphorically.  The NIV gives us perhaps the best rendering, “Saul kept a jealous eye on David.”  We have a similar expression in English.  “We refer to someone giving someone else the evil eye.”

The immediate context clearly indicates that Saul’s concern arose out of a malevolent heart griped by a jealous spirit.  Jealousy makes a good relationship impossible.  In order to have a good relationship with others, we must be willing, able, and even excited to rejoice in the good that another does, or a the good that befalls them.  Jealousy makes this impossible. 

Jealousy is a multi-pronged enemy.  Jealousy is really a form of “self-loathing.”  We feel jealous because we feel “inadequate.”  When a wife catches her 60 years old husband taking a “longer than appropriate” glance at a college age, right-out-of-Vogue Magazine, young lady, the woman is not jealous because of any “real” threat.  Jealousy shines a light on one’s feelings of inadequacy.  It becomes a form of self-loathing.

Jealousy also wrecks relationships because if feeds into a “need to control situations, and possess things—include people.”  The spirit of jealously views others as “object for our enjoyment.”  A relationship that requires such a tight grip on someone else is destined to end up in a pile of rubble.

Ironically, the same spirit of jealousy that causes a misguided self-loathing, also exhibits an idolatrous pride.  We see what another has, or has accomplished, and we feel the praise and profit they receive should be ours.  Jealousy is like swimming in a school of stinging jellyfish.  No matter what direction you go, jealousy will bring a nasty sting.  Jealousy is a guaranteed ingredient in baking a bad relationship.  Jealousy turns windows into mirrors and we get trapped in a world no bigger than ourselves.  A sure relationship wrecker.

2.  Generally Bad Attitude (18:10)

¹⁰ The next day an evil spirit from God came forcefully upon Saul.

How many of you have heard of a lady called, “Debbie Downer?”

VIDEO

A “Debbie Downer” refers to a person is always, “The life of the party . . . when they leave.”  Debbie Downers are not people who see a glass as half full, they see every glass is full of poison.

A negative, pervasive spirit or gloom and despair, is “an evil spirit.”  Consider the terrible hardship, disappoint, and pain our Lord faced in His life:  the hardship of being an itinerant preacher with no place of His own; the constant attacks He received from the religious establishment; the rejection from people of His home town, including his own family members; and, of course, the horrible suffering the Lord endured before and during His crucifixion.  Yet, here is how the Bible describes Our Lord (Hebrews 1:8-9):

⁸ But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever, and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom. ⁹You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”

This is a quote from the Book of Psalms (Ps. 45:6-7).  Of the hundreds of references to Jesus as the Messiah, speaks more to me about the relationship Jesus had with the Father than perhaps any other.  The Father would one day bring to bear upon His Son, Jesus, all of the wrath due for all sins of all people who ever lived or ever would live—and yet, Jesus was not a gloomy figure in history.  Jesus is the quintessentially shining Star of the Universe that defines joy and brightness of Spirit.  To be a gloomy, hate-filled Debbie Downer is not only ungodly, but evil.  It leads to someone that is not only gloomy, but violent and full of rage and anger.  Not someone anyone chooses to be around.  A real “relationship wrecker.”

But, in order to have an “evil, gloomy spirit” in one’s heart, we must make room for it.  An evil spirit and the Spirit of God cannot occupy the same heart.  It is one or the other.  Look back to 1Sam. 16:14:

¹⁴ Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him.

Saul choose to rebel against God’s authority in his life.  He rejected taking a servant position with God.  Saul wanted to “run his own life” in the words immortalized by the Isley Brothers pop song.  I can hear Saul singing these lyrics in response to God choosing David to be Israel’s king in Saul’s place,

Sunshine go away today
I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's gone, he's tried to run my life
He don't know what he's asking
……………………………………..
How much does it cost?
I'll buy it // The time is all we've lost
I'll try it // He can't even run his own life
I'll be darned if he'll run mine, sunshine

Saul wrecked his relationship with God and now he had no sunshine in his life.  Saul was just a gloomy, grumpy old man with an empty heart that would provide ample space for an evil spirit.  Saul was the original “Debbie Downer.”  A sure way to “wreck relationships.”

3.  Gullibility (18:22-25)

You can wreck a relationship by what you do, but another way to wreck a relationship is by what you don’t do.  That is, you don’t protect yourself from becoming a pawn in someone’s story.  It’s easy to become a victim of someone else’s self-centered plot to use you for their personal gain.  Look at verses 22-23:

²² Saul then ordered his servants, “Speak to David in private and tell him, ‘Look, the king is pleased with you, and all his servants love you. Therefore, you should become the king’s son-in-law.’ ”

²³ Saul’s servants reported these words directly to David, but he replied, “Is it trivial in your sight to become the king’s son-in-law? I am a poor man who is common.”

There’s an old adage in regard to overcoming one’s enemies that states:  “If you can’t beat ‘em—join ‘em.”  Another version of that is the adage:  “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”  These are both very effective strategies to overcome an enemy.  Saul’s version of this strategy was to offer one of his daughters to be the wife of David.  Actually, Saul would try this two different times with two different daughters.  David rejected the offer, which was wise because Saul’s intentions were not honorable.  Saul knew David was too poor to pay the “bride price” (v25).  Saul was going to allow David to trade his valor for his daughter.  Look at Saul’s offer and David’s response:

¹⁷ Saul said to David, “Here is my older daughter Merab. I will give her to you in marriage; only serve me bravely and fight the battles of the Lord.” For Saul said to himself, “I will not raise a hand against him. Let the Philistines do that!”  ¹⁸ But David said to Saul, “Who am I, and what is my family or my father’s clan in Israel, that I should become the king’s son-in-law?”

We know that God guides every decision in our lives, even if we make bad ones, God’s plan for our lives will ultimately carry the day—though the more bad choices we make, the more painful the outworking of God’s plan will be.

David was not “gullible.”  He didn’t grasp for the brass ring when it was offered.  He did go to battle against the Philistines, but did not fail and die as Saul had hoped.  David returned with the “bride price” Saul had established:  Philistines “scalps”—well, a kind of scalp.  Look at verse 25:

²⁵ Then Saul replied, “Say this to David: ‘The king desires no other bride-price  except 100 Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’ ”  Actually, Saul intended to cause David’s death at the hands of the Philistines. ²⁶ When the servants reported these terms to David, he was pleased  to become the king’s son-in-law. Before the wedding day arrived,  ²⁷ David and his men went out and killed 200  Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented them as full payment to the king to become his son-in-law

David did eventually take the bait.  From a human standpoint, he was gullible and could not resist a “beautiful woman and a prominent place in the kingdom.”  When we allow ourselves to be used to fulfill the selfish desires of another person, a healthy relationship is not possible.  Selfish people gobble up gullible people to satiate their own appetites and pleasures.  Being gullible is a sure way to “wreck a relationship.”

4.  Gossip (18:24)

There are many more ways to “wreck a relationship” than I will cover in this sermon on Bad Advice.  I want to close with perhaps the most powerful explosive that can be used to “wreck a relationship.”  That explosive is, “gossip.”  Look at verse 21 to see Saul putting cheese on the gossip trap:

²¹ “I’ll give her to him,” Saul thought. “She’ll be a trap for him, and the hand of the Philistines will be against him.

Then, look at how others get into the “gossip ring” in verse 22:

²² Saul then ordered his servants, “Speak to David in private and tell him, ‘Look, the king is pleased with you, and all his servants love you. Therefore, you should become the king’s son-in-law.’ ”

Gossip thrives on secrecy.  I can almost hear the “hissing sound of Satan” as the servants speak the words—and I’ll paraphrase and dramatize it a bit for effect—“Hey, David.  Guess what we overheard Saul saying about you?  He really likes you.  He speaks so highly of you and wants you to be his son-in-law.”

Of course, Saul thought no such thing.  He hated David.  Gossipers thrive on trying to play both sides of the field.  Notice, that the servants felt no compulsion to say to Saul what David really said.  David once again rejected the offer, and said (verse 23):

“Don’t you realize it is no trivial matter for a person to become the son-in-law of the king!  Especially someone like me.”  Yet, not bound by truth and wanting to gain favor with Saul the servants reported back to the king saying, and again I’ll paraphrase:

“Saul.  David’s excited about becoming your servant, but just needs to know what you would take in place of money for the “bride price?” (verse 24).

Of course, the gossiping servants didn’t care about David.  They didn’t care about truth.  They just cared about gaining something—favor with the king—for themselves. 

Gossips destroy relationships because they have ulterior motives—and the motives are always in their favor.  As soon as a “third party” (or parties) are inserted into a relationship, the crumbling of the relationship has begun.  Relationships survive on straight talk, not the twisted stories of gossipers bending the truth for their own twisted purpose.

If you want to destroy a great relationship you have with someone—even a spouse—just start listening to gossip.  Gossip will bring down a relationship into a heap of rubble faster than just about anything.

As I said, there are many more ways to “wreck a relationship” than these four explosive ingredients:  jealousy, a generally grumpy disposition, being a gullible dupe for someone else’s pleasure, and listening to gossip by persons who only have their own best interests in mind.  These aren’t all the ingredients that will “wreck a relationship,” but they will give you a good start.

There is only one ingredient that you must absolutely avoid if you want to “wreck relationships.”  That is “commitment.”  Look at vs. 1:

When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him
as much as he loved himself.

Jonathan, Saul’s son, is a very special person in Scripture.  He is honorable.  He is brave.  He is loving.  And, most of all, he is loyal.  These are all ingredients for a great relationship, which can be summed up in one word, commitment. 

Not often, but occasionally, I will read how a particular verse is translated in certain versions and wonder:  “why did they feel the need to improve upon a literal translation?”  I am appreciative of all the varied translation we have available today.  We can understand “commitment” better from this verse by looking at a more literal translation, such as the ESV.  It translates the words translated by the HCSB and others as “commitment” with the phrase, “Jonathan was knit to the soul of David!” 

The only way to avoid “wrecking a relationship” is to “attach yourself so completely—knit yourself together—to the other person that to destroy them would be to destroy yourself.  That is “commitment.”
If ever there were a sermon I’d love for you to ignore:  it would be this one:  “How to Wreck a Relationship.”  When a relationship is shattered, many other relationships are damaged by the falling debris.

Take great care with relationships.  The life you save may be your own.  Pay careful attention to the instructions in God’s Word that tell us how to “Love God with all our heat, with all our soul, and all our mind; and, to love our neighbor as ourselves.” (Mt. 22:37-38).

I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to “live by the instructions in God’s Word,” especially with regard to our relationship to Him, and to others.  All of the Law is summarized in those two verses of the Great Commandment.  Violating the instructions can cause extensive damage.

The day was April, 25, 1995.  The Arizona Republic newspaper reported that the home of Steve Tran of Westminster, California, was badly damaged by a fire.  Mr. Tran had a problem with cockroaches.  He decided to use those “bug bomb” fumigators.  He set off the cans of fumigating poison, closed the door and got into his car to do something until the fumigation was finished.  BOOM!  He had left a pilot light on.  When the flammable fumigant mist reached the pilot light on the stove, it ignited.  The blast ripped off the front screen door and sent it flying all the way across the street.  The explosion broke all the windows of his house, and set his furniture on fire.  All totaled, the damage was over $10,000.  He failed to read and obey the directions on the can which clearly say to extinguish pilot lights.

Oh, and the directions also say, “Use No More Than Two Cannisters.”  Mr. Tran used “Twenty-Five!”  And, the first day back after repairs, cockroaches were freely roaming about.

The Bible tells us how important our relationship is with God, and by extension our relationship with others.  Nothing is more important.  Nothing.

Read the Bible and follow all directions for relationships.  There are enough “Wreck-It Ralphs” in the world.

Bad Advice, Pt. 2: How to Become An Addict

February 12, 2017                     NOTES NOT EDITED
Bad Advice, Pt. 2:  How to Become An Addict.

Luke 15:11-31

SIS: Jesus alone is Our Master and we must never allow any other habit or action to take His place.

Many years ago I read something that sticks with me to this day.  It is a bit of sage advice.  I’ve seen hundreds of people ignore this advice, and the end of the matter for every one of them has been, disappointment.

Someone once said, “The Devil pays well, but he always pays in counterfeit money!”  I’ve found this to be true.  It is a popular way of restating something the Bible says, “Stolen bread [sin] tastes sweet but it turns to gravel in the mouth” (Prv. 20:17, NLT).

Sin is a deadend road—always!  The Devil’s lies lead to addiction.  Addiction works, because at first sin tastes sweet, but once the Devil gets his claws into you, life takes a bitter turn toward the town of Horrible.

When we think of addiction we think primarily of “substances” like heroin or alcohol.  There are many other addictions like pornography and coffee.  There’s also an addiction to work.  Soap operas were an addiction for many women in my Mom’s child-rearing days.

An addiction can be almost anything.  Addictions take hold because they seem to pay huge dividends in pleasure.  But, as we noted above, “The Devil always pays in counterfeit money.”  What began as perhaps an innocent pleasure becomes a never-ending nightmare.  I’ve seen addiction close up and personal.  It ain’t pretty. 

Nobody takes a drink with the hope of someday losing everything and living in a doorway on Skid Row. Nobody takes a puff on their first cigarette hoping to someday develop lung cancer.  Nobody pops a pill or shoots heroin in the hopes of one day living in a rodent infested flop house with other junkies.  No, the Devil never shows someone the end of the road of addiction, only the bright lights of the first party.

Anything can be an addiction.  Caffeine, dipping snuff, chewing tobacco, social media, Starbucks, or Pokemon.  The list is endless.  Anything that gains significant control and mastery of one’s life is an addiction.  Here’s what Paul has to say about being mastered by sin:

¹² “Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything (1Cor. 6:12, NIV)

The word translated, “mastered,” (controlled, CSB) is a long Greek word, exousiasthesomai, which literally means “to be enslaved by.”  I’m sure that you know enough from history to understand that being a slave was a hard and painful life.  When we let ourselves become addicted—to anything—that which we are addicted to becomes the “master” of our lives.  And, addiction is a master that gets crueler with each passing day.

So, the question becomes, “what is mastering you? and me?”  If the master of our lives is not 100% the Lord Jesus Christ, then we are serving an idol.  A slave cannot be “partly owned by the master.”  It is all or nothing.  The Bible says (Mat. 6:24),

²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

The core issue of addiction is idolatry—plain and simple.  Idolatry is allowing anything else but Jesus Christ to hold any amount of control over our lives.  Addiction is idolatry because it is “seeking to find in something else, that which only God can give!”

I can actually show you a picture of someone who is addicted.  Here’s the picture of the “Human Ken Doll,” Rodrigo Alves.  He has had over 50 plastic surgeries totally more than $400,000 in the quest for the perfect face and body.  In a recent article, a reporter who interviewed the Human Ken Doll reported:  “Rodrigo completely rejects the claim that he is addicted to plastic surgery.” 

People can be addicted to anything.  Someone once asked me, “Will cigarette smoking send me to hell?”  The common preacher response is, “No, it will only make you smell like you’ve been there!”  I have known people who were addicted to tanning salons.  They tan so much they look like an old suitcase!

So, what’s mastering you?  What’s your addiction of choice? Maybe it is “shopping.”  Some people eat to find comfort.  Some people shop.  Maybe you are that rare person who has no addiction—but you would really like one.  You are that person who says, “I’m tired of being blessed by God, I want to have a taste of misery.”  Or maybe, you have a fantastic marriage and you are saying, how can I get hooked on pornography, wreck my marriage and become a disgrace to my community.  Well, if you are that person.  I’ve got “Bad Advice” for you.  Here’s the path toward addiction—follow the Prodigal Son!  LET’S READ Luke 15:11-19.

1.  The first step down the path to addiction is Distance Yourself From Godly Influences (Lk 15:11-13)

¹¹ He also said: “A man had two sons. ¹² The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate I have coming to me.’ So he distributed the assets to them. ¹³ Not many days later, the younger son gathered together all he had and traveled to a distant country.

I think it is very significant that the Lord described the young man as travelling to a “distant country.”  Sin always takes you “away from the Father.”  The Devil is an opportunist.  He always picks the low-hanging fruit and seeks to exploit the weakest target he can find.

When lions hunt together, like many pack animals, they try to isolate a member of a herd from the safety of the group.  The further a gazelle or other prey gets from the herd, the easier they are to pick off.

This is why one of the first steps toward addiction is to separate from godly influences of friends and family—and especially separating from the family of God. 

I was once asked by a church leader—who didn’t like me and looked for any way possible to discredit me—if her homosexual son would be welcome in the church.  I had not been at that church very long, but long enough for her to see I held a biblical view of sexuality.  She felt it was perfectly acceptable to God to be a homosexual.

Well, if I answered, “no, he would not be welcome,” I would show myself to be out of step with God Who declares, “Come unto me ALL ye who are weary and heavy laden.”  If I were to answer, “Yes, he would be perfectly welcome,” she would have simply pulled out a tape of a message where I quoted the Bible as saying, “homosexuality is an abomination.”  I wasn’t going to win this argument either way.  What I did say is this, “A homosexual would be perfectly welcome to attend church, but not likely to stay once the Bible was preached!”

You see, the church family will help keep you away from sin, and sin will most certainly keep you away from the church family.  So, if you want to indulge in your addiction, the first step is to Distance Yourself from Godly Influences.”  If you need help with this step, just refer to last week’s message that demonstrated “how to give in to temptation.  The process was:

            --Neglect Special Times With the Lord

            --Hang Around the Wrong Crowd

            --Give In to Temptation

            --Love the World More than God

Addiction is much easier in a “distant land” away from the light and love of godly friends and families.  Sin grows best in the dark!  If you want to indulge your addiction, get away from any godly influences.  Become a mushroom.  Mushrooms grow in the dark.  Oak trees grow in the light.

2.  Seek Happiness Not Holiness (Lk. 15:13c)

He squandered  his estate in foolish living.

The Bible doesn’t spell out exactly what the young man’s “foolish living” entailed.  King James translates this term as, “riotous living.”  The New Living Translation calls it, “wild living.”  In college lingo we might translate it, “frat parties!”  I don’t know what exactly the young man indulged in, but he did a lot of it.  He was so “wild and riotous” that he “squandered, or wasted” his entire inheritance, which the context implies was quite a sum.  We see from the party that the father throws upon the Prodigal’s return that the father was a man of great means and much wealth.

Addiction seeks pleasure.  That’s why they call the feeling drugs produce a, “high.”  People do drugs, or drink alcohol, or eat donuts because it makes them feel good.  It makes them “happy.”  Twenty-four hundred years ago, Aristotle understood the “power of pleasure” as a motivation for man.  Pleasure played an important role in Aristotelian ethics, though riotous, reckless living was not what Aristotle had in mind.

Even the birth certificate of our nation, the Declaration of Independence, declares that the “pursuit of happiness” is an inalienable right.  So, you have Aristotle’s permission and the sanction of the Declaration of Independence to “seek happiness anywhere and anyway you can find it!” But, do you have God’s permission?

The biggest lie perpetrated on the modern church by so-called “Health and Wealth Preachers” in the tradition of Kenneth Copeland, Norman Vincent Peale, Creflo Dollar (quite a name for a health/wealth preacher), Joel Olsteen and a whole gaggle of others, is that “God’s greatest concern is your happiness!”  I am telling you that “God did not send Jesus to die on the cross so you could be happy—but, so you could be HOLY!”

It would appear that the Founding Fathers did our nation a great disservice by including “the pursuit of happiness” along with “life and liberty” as “inalienable rights granted by our Creator.”  Were the Founding Fathers the one’s providing the foundation for “health and wealth” preaching?  The answer is “no.”  It is clear that the Founders, nearly all 200 of them, firmly stood on the Word of God and they realized that “happiness is a by-product of holiness.”

The pursuit of happiness, without the pursuit of holiness, will always end up in emptiness and disappointment.  Look at verse 14:

¹⁴ After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing.

Here’s where seeking happiness instead of holiness is going to lead you.  I’ve often said, “Sin always takes you further than you wanted to go, costs you more than you intended to spend, and keeps you longer than you planned to stay!”

Now, here’s the point where you can really “nail down your addiction.”

3.  Dive in Deeper!  (Lk 15:15-16)

¹⁵ Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs.  ¹⁶ He longed to eat his fill from the carob pods the pigs were eating, but no one would give him any.

He is a splendidly addicted Jewish boy—neck deep in pig poop!

If the Devil would have shown the Prodigal the pain at the end of his travels instead of the pleasure at the beginning, the Prodigal would never have left the homestead!

For three years I ministered every third Friday at the Open Door Mission on Skid Row in downtown Oakland, California.  Skid Row is where addiction slides into the gutter.  I still have many of the sights and smells of that place in my mind. The sights and smells of the Devil’s rejects.  Even the Devil didn’t want anything to do with them anymore.  He had taken everything they had to give.  All that remained were empty, broken, disappointed lives.

They were men and women (and sadly children brought along for the ugly ride) who had listened to some very “Bad Advice.”  And, all they had to show for it was disappointment.  They lived lives of disappointment so deep in the pig sty of despair, that they now felt at home “living like pigs,” just like the Prodigal.

The last, most precious possession they had once had, vanished like an early dew in the bright morning sunlight.  They no longer had hope.  Addiction had robbed them of this last, precious gift, and the Devil had substituted disappointment.

They were much like a forlorn, pessimistic Army Airborne Ranger who was learning to parachute.  His sergeant barked out four simple steps to a successful jump from an airplane:  1.  Jump when you are told to jump;  2.  Count to ten, then pull the rip cord;  3.  If the first chute doesn’t open, pull the second rip cord;  4.  When you land, a truck will bring you back to the post.  When the plane got over the landing zone, the Jump Master yelled, “jump,” and the pessimistic jumper, jumped.  He counted to ten, and pulled the primary rip cord.  Just like he expected—nothing happened.  He pulled the second rip cord.  Again, nothing happened.  Being the pessimistic person he was, the young paratrooper in training muttered, “Great!  I’ll bet the truck won’t be waiting for me, either!”

Addiction is decorated with disappointment.  It will suck the hope out of you as surely as the Sahara will suck the water out of your skin.  This is why, when an addiction gets a death grip on someone’s life, they just dive deeper into the mire and muck of addiction.

Now, the evidence for despair is not always physically noticeable.  A shopaholic will not have needle marks on her arm.  Caffeine won’t give you the tell-tale pock-marked face of a meth addict.  But, I assure you the despair of a person addicted to shopping is as deep as the person addicted heroin. 

If you let the addiction go long enough, whatever it is, it will totally obliterate any blessing God would seek to send your way.  When any addiction takes hold, the person the addiction is holding will be totally blind to seeing the eternal cost of letting anything, or anyone, but Jesus be the Master of one’s life!

Perhaps the best bit of “Bad Advice” I can give you on “How to Become An Addict” would be to urge you:

4.  Don’t Listen to the Voice of Reason—It will be there, just don’t listen to it!  (Lk. 15:17)

¹⁷ When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger!

I have always been intrigued with this part of the story.  I am most amazed by what it does not say.  It does not say, “He came to his religion.”  He came to “his senses.”  Follow me here:  it makes good sense to repent of your sins—drop the addictive idols of your life—and return to the Father, Who is waiting for you!

it makes good sense to repent of your sins—drop the addictive idols of your life—and return to the Father, Who is waiting for you!

I used to spend many hours studying the different “answers to skeptics questions.”  I have a degree in philosophy of religion with a specialty in apologetics—the science of giving reasonable answers to why one believes in God.  In the final analysis, the best “reason” I can give for why one should believe in God is because:  “it’s plumb crazy not to!”

That may not be theologically sophisticated, but if the story of the Prodigal’s Path to Pain Through Addiction teaches us anything it teaches us that “Sin makes you stupid!”

Life controlled by any Master but the Lord Jesus Christ ends up as a train wreck.  We become like helium balloons set loose on a windy day.  We have no direction and it is only a matter of time before something bad happens.  It makes “no sense” to let anything but Jesus master our lives.

There is no meaningful way to make sense of life without God.  As C.S. Lewis so brilliantly declared, “I do not believe in the sun because see it’s light, but I believe in the sun because by its light I see everything else.”

It only makes sense to repent, that is turn from your sinful addiction, and return to the safety and security of the Father.  The “Bad Advice” of the Devil is:  “Don’t listen to the voice of reason!”  As simple as it may sound, the bottom-line is:  “There can’t be a ‘big bang’ unless there were first a Big Banger!”

This is why the Bible declares without any qualification:   The fool says in his heart, “God does not exist.” (Psalm 14:1).

The Devil wants you to be stupid, and to act stupid.  He knows if you ever come to your senses, no bonds of addiction can hold you!  You CAN be holy.  And being holy, you WILL be happy.  The Devil knows this.  The Devil knows that when you cast yourself at the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ and declare Him, and Him alone, to be your Master—nothing can control you.  You have THE POWER.

For though we live in the body, we do not wage war in an unspiritual way,  ⁴ since the weapons of our warfare  are not worldly,  but are powerful  through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments ⁵ and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ (2Cor. 10:3-5).

I’ve talked with many people struggling with addictions ranging from heroin addiction to addiction to Starbucks.  The particular “drug or behavior” of choice is not the issue.  Sin is the issue, and Jeus is the solution.  I’ve had many people say, “Pastor, I just can’t do it,” meaning they could not break their sinful habits.  Hallelujah!  That’s what it means to “come to one’s senses!”  We can’t break the strongholds on our own—but, praise God Almighty, He doesn’t expect us to.

The Prodigal came to His senses and realized He had to “turn back” (repent) to the Father.  When the Prodigal repented, the shackles of his addictive lifestyle were absolutely shattered.  Here’s what happened next (vv. 18-24):

¹⁸ I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, Father, I have sinned  against heaven  and in your sight. ¹⁹ I’m no longer worthy  to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired hands.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion.  He ran, threw his arms around his neck,  and kissed  him. ²¹ The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’  ²² “But the father told his slaves, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring  on his finger  and sandals  on his feet. ²³ Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, ²⁴ because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

If ever a hymn were written for a “sin-addicted sinner stuck in the mire and muck of the Devil’s pig sty,” it would be this hymn:

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling—

Calling for you and for me;

Patiently Jesus is waiting and watching—

Watching for you and for me!

Come home! come home!

Ye who are weary, come home!

Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,

Calling, O sinner, come home!

We are all “addicts” of one sort or another.  We all stand guilty of allowing something, or someone, other than the Lord Jesus, to become the “master of our lives.”  Today, the Word of God begs us to “repent and return to the Lord.”